Your personality type may determine what works best for you. So our list of 10 is by no means complete or the last word. Hope these suggestions help.

1. Try looking at the world in a different way.

Imagine for a moment that you are a wave-lashed mountain in the middle of an ocean. Each wave — big or small — represents a stress in your life. For instance, a parking ticket could be a breaker on the rocks. Imagine that an argument is a wave that washes up the beach. A health problem or family strife could crash much higher. The death of a loved one might be a fierce wave that sweeps right across the mountain. But in the end, the mountain will still be standing and still enduring all the world throws at it.

2. Expectations

Road rage happens quite often because impatient drivers expect people to behave the way they (cranky drivers) want them to. That attitude is destined to fail, no matter whether it’s applied to driving or any other activity. You can only really control yourself. Don’t set yourself up for stress with unrealistic expectations. Do the best you can to see the other person’s point of view.

3. Learn to say NO

If you’re feeling out of control or overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to put your foot on the brakes. You may be taking on too much and people may be expecting too much from you. There is so much we have to do anyway, give yourself permission to say “no” to those things that aren’t worth stressing about.

4. Fun

Put more fun into your life. Laugh. Find those things that make you happy… family, friends, movies, sport. When’s the last time you had a good belly laugh?

5. Passion

Whether it’s an applied technique or a genuine calling, many high functioning people cultivate a passion in something — the thoracic surgeon who’s an enthusiastic model train hobbyist, the forex trader who keeps bees or the medical doctor with the fine wine collection. Passions can transport the faithful far from the stresses and ho-hum of the daily grind.

6. Time management

Running late for deadlines or appointments is one sure way of stressing out. It can be so easily avoided with planning and management methods that are widely available. For a start, commit to a week/ a month of leaving for appointments half hour ahead of time.. no matter what compromises you have to make. Time management must become an effortless habit.

7. Take a stress inventory

Write down a list of your stresses. Can you knock some out? Sure you can’t easily eliminate the mortgage, but you may be able to do some horse-trading with a friend who could pick the kids up on days when you’re busy. Find a different way of dealing with an argumentative person, decide to look at the funny side of some situations or get started on projects a little earlier to avoid last minute deadlines. List your stresses and decide which ones can be eliminated or changed.

8. Don’t sweet it

If you can’t change it, don’t stress about it. There are things we can prepare for that will change an outcome. Other things we will never be able to change, no matter how much we worry. Obviously it’s hard not to worry when a loved is in trouble, but there are many more times where we can say — if I can’t change it, I won’t worry about it.

9. Stay in the present

Ever see some tourists taking pictures? They click away then get back into the bus. I guess they’re going to enjoy the place, the time, the experience back home when they look at those snaps. But wouldn’t it be better if we could enjoy the moment as it’s happening. People who can aren’t stressing about a report that’s due or a confrontation with a colleague or an overdue bill.

10. Make a contract with yourself

Whether it’s stress or any other problem, nothing will change unless you change it. No pills, no magic. You have to behave your way to success. Strike a deal with yourself to make what ever changes you see necessary and commit to trying them out for a defined period, such as a month. No matter what happens, make those changes. If the old way of doing things wasn’t working, you can’t expect a different result unless you change.

It is hard to know when the pressures of work and family life have become too much. Stress can sneak up like background radiation. Many people don’t realise the extent of their exposure until something goes wrong with their health. Doctors tell us too much stress over too long can cause serious illness such as cancer and heart disease.

Medical alert

You are probably far too stressed when you have chest pains (see your doctor). Barring medical issues, that’s a big alarm bell-ringer for stress.

Stressed-out people often have belly to bowel problems  — that’s anything from reflux to diarrhoea.

Headaches and constant colds may be other signs.

Mind games

You might be too stressed if you can’t concentrate, if you’re depressed, or feeling overwhelmed or exhausted. Do you have trouble sleeping or do you sleep too much, especially by escaping to bed on the weekends?

Sabotage

You may be hitting your stress limits if you’re eating too much. As well as abusing food, alcohol or other drugs, you could be sabotaging yourself with behaviours, such as aggression. Are you finding yourself in more arguments or road rage? Are you irritable or do you have mood swings?

Ask a friend

Sounds simple, but it could be the reality check we all need. Ask a friend for an objective, non-sugar coated assessment. Be prepared to accept the answer, no matter how stressful it is.

We’re lucky it has so many ways of letting us know something is wrong.

Here are just 10 stress markers we see in people who come to us for help with stress.

1. Feeling like you’re “spinning your wheels.”
   The more you try to do, the less you get done.
2. Feeling restless.
3. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to organise yourself.
4. Trouble with concentration.
5. Memory lapses.
6. Feeling nervous and anxious.
   Excessive rumination.
7. Trouble sleeping.
8. Tightness in the shoulders.
9. Over-reacting to situations.
10. Easily fatigued.